My First FI Post

As the title says, this is my first FI post. What is FI you might ask? Financial independence. Sometimes it's combined with RE for "FIRE" which is financially independent, retire early. There is this massive online presence for FI/FIRE (oh hell, this is an absolutely *ridiculous* moment for my "f" key to start getting sticky...harumph! but there is a good FI lesson in that bit of ridiculousness...I bought this laptop in 2010 for grad school -- definitely getting my money's worth from it, especially since my uncle so generously rebuilt it for me before I came out to Bahrain -- it's working Great!, Uncle Heathen).

My sister (as usual...I get my best ideas from her) turned me on to Mr Money Mustache a few years ago. I had been reading Get Rich Slowly for years before that (got disgusted with the site after JD sold it, and am now absolutely THRILLED that he has it back and continues to do great things with it). And then I recently found Rockstar Finance, and Cait Flanders and Choose FI, and all the other super supportive, incredibly creative, amazingly brave and courageous explorers of mindful living. I'm a little shy online, and do more lurking than commenting, but the stories these people tell of their own experiences are inspiring, terrifying, jealous-making, and bring me new ideas about how to approach my own life.

So all that to say, I'm dipping my toe in with this post.

Today is the day I got my first paycheck in the Coast Guard, 19 years ago. I don't remember the exact circumstances...I was in boot camp, and the money probably just showed up in my North Carolina State Employee Credit Union checking account and I didn't even realize it because I was worried about making sure my locker was locked, my boots were shined, and I didn't have any Irish pennants on my uniform so I wouldn't get yelled at by the mean and scary Company Commanders. But if I do the math, I went into boot camp on 24 August 1999, so my first paycheck should have been 31 August 1999 (...which now that I actually think about it, is really highly unlikely because (pre-Direct Access JUMPS, aka Old School) paycut would have been about 21 Aug, so I probably didn't get a paycheck on 31 Aug...however -- never let the truth spoil a good myth. Also...I have the time to write this post right now, and likely won't come 15 September.)

Anyway!!...

My first CG paycheck wasn't much...only like $150 mostly likely because they took out money for uniforms and other accession expenses. But it was steady; I knew it was going to come twice a month and it was going to be enough to pay my bills...especially since free health care came with it.

I was nearly two years past getting my first Masters degree, in Horticulture. I had been living paycheck to paycheck at jobs that weren't going anywhere. I had about $3,000 in credit card debt that I had no idea how I was going to pay down. I would pay a little more than the minimum payment each month, but just kept seeing the balance getting bigger and never going down. I didn't have any student loans, mostly because Berea College, where I got my undergrad degree doesn't charge tuition...or they do, but they offset it with full scholarships for every student because every student works at least 10 hours a week doing campus jobs. And I worked hard during grad school with a second job for most of the time, while still being a teaching or research assistant...and my Mom helped out with making sure I had a place to live when she gave me a $15,000 loan to buy my mobile home. Lot rent was $250 a month.

I was sick of not having a safety net. I wanted financial stability. I wanted health care, so I didn't have to figure out how to pay $100 for a Planned Parenthood visit to get birth control and still have money for the electric bill or rent. 

So a steady paycheck, with the opportunity for advancement, and guaranteed health care seemed like a dream. Sign me up!

Fast forward through 10 PCS moves, buying five houses, and selling three, two year-long tours in a tax free zone, maxing out my sea pay on my last ship, two command tours, countless deployments and even more port calls, and I have a seven-figure net worth, as of this month.

I grew up on food stamps and subsidized school lunches, hand-me-down clothes and church-sponsored Christmas presents.

Seven figures is a little surreal.

My Mom did her very, very best to make ends meet, and raise us with boundless love. I could ask her for help, and if it was in her power to do it, she would give me, or any of the three of us kids everything she had. It's not an easy thing for me to admit her generosity...she and I had a difficult relationship. But she taught me to be frugal, how to distinguish between wants and needs, the importance of paying off my credit cards every month, how to write checks and balance a checkbook (back when I still wrote things in my checkbook ledger), and about being a responsible adult. I'm coming to accept that we could have a difficult relationship, and know that she loved me and taught me many, many things. All those things can be true at the same time.

I know she would be thrilled, absolutely, but not overly surprised at my ((to me) stunning and completely unexpected) financial abundance. She always believed in me, usually more than I did in myself.

And for me, now, I think I do a decent job of recognizing the amazing financial abundance that I enjoy, and being thoroughly grateful for the options that gives me. I also recognize my situation is...not typical. I don't have kids, so no college to save for; and if I want more college, I have my GI Bill still to use (yes, I contributed the extra $1,200 back in the day for the $5,400 additional funding...I know a good return when I see one). I own my retirement home outright. No mortgage. I paid cash for it with money my Mom left me (there's another story there about how we were all a little surprised that she had money to leave any of us...not because she didn't save, but because she never made very much). I've had massive luck in the real estate market...and recognize it as luck. I didn't know I was buying a house on the North Shore of Oahu right as the market took off in 2003. I've always just bought what I liked, and somehow, that's worked out for me -- though I know others do not have the same experience.

My options (when it comes to FI and FIRE) are:
-- I can retire from active duty next 1 September, if I choose. I don't *need* to stay any longer on active duty than I actually *want* to, just to fund my future lifestyle.
-- I don't have to get a job when I retire, if I don't want to, because my pension will cover my basic living expenses and then some, which means...
-- I can ask for one more command afloat tour because I love the people, the challenge, the cohesion and being underway, and not because it's good for continuing my career, and...
-- I can spend my time after active duty doing and exploring things I love or feel like I might love; I can find new adventures, challenges, and (oh my gawd, I'm not sure I can handle this part...) let things be easy for a while (which may be the greatest challenge of all...).
-- Only bounded by my imagination and the limits of my courage.

So, while I'm not RE yet, I'm definitely FI. I can drop a retirement letter any day I choose now, even if I'm still one year out from it taking effect. Which is ok...I still have a few things I want to accomplish to round out my Coast Guard career. I'm thinking of this as my Warning Order. Action Order pends finding out what ship I'm going to next...

Great Leaps

I'm doing my very best hermit impression this weekend. It has been a super busy last two weeks, and I feel the need for some quiet reflection to process the constant movement I've been doing. I wrote a long email to my coach just as the busy-ness was kicking off (when I didn't fully realize the intensity of the busy-ness), because I had what felt like a complete epiphany. Looking back, I haven't been able to spend as much time as I wanted in the mental space I describe below. I guess that's what August's challenge will be for. I'm excited about it.

Here's the email:

"I took a walk to run a quick errand [as we were waiting for more information on the crisis of the day...on Friday, which is not an official workday, but I usually go in for a few hours to catch up and prioritize for the next week. I was at work when the crisis hit...thankfully. Also, crisis is over, just dealing with the fallout from it now]. 

On that walk, I realized (big epiphany here [I really feel like that is an understatement, and I have a hard time describing how big a shock this realization was to me]) that I have crazy high expectations for myself. 

I don't know what finally made that make sense to me. I think it may be this latest challenge. It's the Whole Life Challenge (www.wholelifechallenge.com) this month, where there are seven ways to keep points each day: nutrition, fitness, mobility (stretching), sleep, hydration, a weekly "wellness" challenge (this week's was no electronics during meals to better be in the moment with what you're eating) and a daily reflection. We're about half way through it, and yesterday, in particular, I was feeling very dragged down by it. I lost my wellness points because I ate lunch at my computer because I was trying to get stuff done (at least it was a healthy lunch). I lost all my nutrition and wellness points the day before because I ate an entire bag of caramel popcorn mindlessly as I was working (at my computer). I didn't get a workout in yesterday, and by the time I got home, I didn't want to stretch either. 

And the realization of what I was doing to myself came crashing down on me as I walked around base...the standard to which I hold myself is very, very high. I expect myself to do a thousand things, and do them all well. I was thinking about not getting a workout in, and chastising myself for not having the energy to do it once I got home (after an eight-hour day on my sixth day (most of which were 10-hr days) at work in a row). I realized my expectations were very high, and immediately started trying to figure out how to get my workout in before my workday starts so that I have the energy to do it. And it took me a minute to realize that was just rearranging obligations, not actually getting at the root of the expectation.

Which, as the evening wore on, and as I've thought more about it today, is what I feel like I really need to do. I was going to track all my cash spending next month, but instead, I've decided on a "no expectations" challenge for next month. I need a freaking break from them! 

Which then led me to consider what do I mean by "no expectations." And what I came up with is, every time I find myself saying, "I should do...," "I need to...," or "I have to...," I will gently ask where that comes from. Is it something I actually *want* to do?...because those don't feel like expectations...they feel like me being authentically me, doing things I value. Or is it something I feel like I should be doing?...because someone else expects it, or I read somewhere I should, or it's something I've picked up along the way and haven't actually thought about why I'm doing it.

And the things I *want* to do...those might be long term wants supported by daily choices. I want to be healthy...which means that I really want to snack on blueberries instead of caramel popcorn [or not eat a box of Girl Scout Samoas for dinner...which I did last night]. I want to set clear expectations for people who work for me to help them succeed...which means I do want to send that last clarifying email before my day ends so it's waiting for them when they get in. So, "wanting" to do something isn't just, I want to sit on my couch and read my book today or I want that piece of pie (but it might be). It's looking at why I'm doing the things I'm doing, and asking myself if that's really how I want to spend my time, energy, whatever.

This idea of no expectations feels like a reprieve. An opportunity to test what I really want. And how that gets put into action every day. I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, workout when I want or not, drink whatever/whenever I want. No stringent personal rules to guide how I chose to get through my day...which is kinda an amazing concept to me. Somehow, I think there may be another aspect to this one too...maybe something about finding my own truths...the things I feel in my bones are true about me that I can stop questioning so doggedly. Which reminds me of what you've been trying to get across to me, that there are certain lines I won't let myself cross."

So that was the end of the email to my coach. Interestingly, the message about "my truths" was reinforced from another email this morning from my financial adviser. I sold my house in Hawaii recently and asked her about the possibility of putting some of the money into a separate account that I could designate for travel.

Her response was, "...first, you are clearly a saver and investor (whether real estate or stocks) and I would be very surprised if you were at risk of ‘spending away’ your travel funds..." and "...I truly believe you will weigh how and when you spend your money every time you would need to get out your checkbook, whether for a plane trip, future primary home, investment property or stock purchase. There are people who are either not disciplined enough not to spend away money they intend to use for something specific, or they cannot grasp the concept of ‘fungibility’ and must have it set for a specific purpose. I do not think that applies to you..."

How do other people see my truths while I remain so completely blind to them? 

Another related story, which makes me smile every time I think of it. Two days into last week, during which I felt like a circus ring master with the music on 98 rpms, juggling two groups of visitors to PATFOR involving most of the entire crew, including the cutters, I didn't sleep a damn. There I was, staring up into the ceiling at 10 pm, my mind racing a thousand miles an hour about everything that was going on. OPM was one of our visitors, so of course I was thinking about my e-resume, and how the hell I was supposed to rank order the cutters that are open for transfer next summer. 

Because I couldn't sleep, I posted the following on Facebook,"If you had to pick one of the following words to best describe me, which would it be? Options in alphabetical order: dauntless, steadfast, venturous, vigilant, vigorous. For those that recognize the words, don't cheat, or spoil the fun."

Of course, all my Coastie friends got it. Despite my admonition, some still cheated and picked the words based on their own preferences for where the so-named cutters are homeported. Others added their own words, mostly forms of "diligence." 

If I was hoping for a clear answer to help me craft my e-resume, I certainly didn't get it. Top three candidates were dauntless, steadfast, and venturous..which if I had to pick words that people felt best describe me, I'll happily take any one of those three :) 

As for what I'm putting on my e-resume...guh! I wish I knew!