Thursday, August 27, 2009

Ready to go Prime Time?

I got an email today from the publisher/owner of CGBlog.org. To quote him, "I wanted to write you before I wrote anything on my own site-but I love your blog. It's strait to the point of problems, and offers reasonable solutions ta-boot. However, as you noted in your own words you've asked not to be outed, and I respect that. That is why I wanted to ask if I can profile your site on my own (CGBlog.org)-I ask because it's on a daily check list for PA's [Public Affairs Specialists] and IT types looking for me (or others) to either do wrong, or good...take you pick. Please let me know-either way keep up the great work. I wish I could be so frank at times...Ryan"

Uh...ummm...aahhh....eeeekk! My first thought is that "frank" does not always equate to professional success. And he's right, it's easy to be frank when my audience is made up mostly of my friends and family who know my heart is in the right place, even when my head might sometimes be up my ass.

I haven't specifically asked to be anonymous; in fact, many of my posts give details about what ship I'm on and where I am. It's really not that hard to figure out...Ryan got it right on the first try. So it's really just an exposure issue. Am I ready for Prime Time?

As I try to refind my personal life, after a couple years of being wrapped up in my professional experience, I realize that I have to be wholly myself, for the good or the bad of it. I can't separate out the pieces of me of which the CG generally approves from the parts that are less easily integrated into a military, socially conservative, male-dominated, hierarchical structure. The cussing, environmental-mindedness, tattoos, foodie tendencies, snarky sense of humor, girly perfume and make-up, shyness and unconventional ideas about urban farming and local food systems all have a place right next to the empathetic leadership, technical knowledge, operational acumen, and command presence. Part and parcel of me. As the quintessential sailor once said, "I yam what I yam." Hey, I like spinach too.

I've made some baby steps towards this integration...being vocal about how the lack of messing options has affected the crew, the new 1/2 sleeve tattoo, the band-aid sticker, and make-up on a more regular basis (HUGH risk, I know!). This blog is a good outlet for me to share some of my successes and ruminate upon my failures. But I don't like to do things half-assed. In for a penny, in for a pound. Might as well go Prime Time. I do admit to editing some of my previous posts tonight, just to make sure I'm not going to shoot myself point blank in the foot; I still might catch the big toe with some shrapnel, though. Kinda nervous about that, but here goes...

Ryan, I'd be honored to be profiled on your blog. And thanks so much for your kind words. How on *earth* did you find my blog?

1 comment:

Just a Girl said...

I got another email from Ryan...he's going on leave and has been ordered by his significant other to make it a vacation from blogging too. So I've got a few weeks of continued flying under the radar.