Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Have You Heard Where You're Going Yet?

No. No, I have not. Not yet. The email or IM may come any day. But, NO, I Do Not Know Where I'm Going Yet.

I have to keep telling myself over and over again that it's ok. It's still very early. No matter where I go, whatever job I go to, it's what I make of it. My attitude can take a great job and make it crappy, or take a crappy job and make it great -- I've done it before. And, it's not like they'll run out of jobs before they get to me, and leave me with nothing. I'll still **have** a job. I just don't know what or where it is yet.

And that's ok. Really ok (if I say it enough times, maybe it will sink into my thick skull and I'll start to believe it). This would be the second earliest I've ever found out. First was finding out three days before Christmas 2007 that I'd be going to MAUI in Bahrain, and that was only because PDT (pre-deployment training) started like five weeks later. Even if the Assignment Officer doesn't reach out until the day before the CDR Assignment Panel, that's still relatively early for me to know.

And what does it matter anyway, right now? I've got a patrol to make it through, a mission at hand, a crew to guide, a ship to sail, and another busy inport to plan. Knowing right this minute would not change **any** of that. I'm not bored with my current job; I don't really want to leave it; I still have plenty to learn and accomplish. I do not need to know right now.

But the truth of the matter is, the ironically obnoxious high point of my day was having two people, neither of whom I've ever had a conversation about transfer season with, ask me if I knew where I was going yet. Sadly, I don't think I was as graceful with either of them as I should have been.

Truth is, I'm grumpy with wondering what's next. Never mind which specific job I'm going to, even knowing which coast would make a difference (maybe). Knowing which state, or (gasp) city, would be great. Knowing the actual job -- HUGE relief.

I don't know why I'm so wrapped up in this, spending so much time wondering. Maybe it's because I'm a planner by nature, training and profession, and not knowing means I can't plan. (Somehow this line of thought is sounding dreadfully familiar to one I think I wrote about two years ago when I was waiting for orders out of HQ -- there may be a trend here...) Maybe it's the sense of pending Big Change that I don't feel like I have any control over right now. Once I know, I have control of how I react and what I do about it; I control my destiny then. Right now...not so much.

And at least it's only myself I have to plan for. I can't imagine the pressure if I had a spouse and or kids that were also hanging in the balance. There are times when being single definitely has its advantages.

All in good time. I know the AOs are busy, and they have a slew of people to contact. They'll get to me when they get to me. It's still early. There are no bad jobs, just bad attitudes.

Maybe later this week...???...please, Universe, please...soon...

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